The word “mistake” is derived from an old archery term which simply means “missed the mark” or my definition a “miss-take”!

In today’s frenetic world a “mistake” seems to carry with it a certain dramatic negative stigma which often has little or no direct correlation to the action or lack of action that the label has been attributed to. Sure there a small mistakes and big mistakes. The consequences of those mistakes can vary markedly yet most of our so-called mistakes are on a smaller scale.

At the end of the day we are all human and as the old saying goes “to err is human, to forgive is divine”.

Yet if you see your mistakes as failures then you are more likely to over dramatise them. They become bigger than they really are and then start to take on a life of their own as they impact on your self-esteem and self-belief. Continue reading →

I have noticed that I often focus on whats missing from  my current reality when compared to my imagined ideal life. Such a constant focus can be a cause of ongoing unhappiness and frustration.

There is nothing unusual about our pre-occupation with forward thinking. Human beings are designed to evolve and this is achieved through either intentional planning or through default when stuff just happens. The problem with too much forward focus and thinking is that is robs us of our experience of the present moment. This I believe is the root cause for much of our dissatisfaction with our lives. Continue reading →

There is an old saying that I have borrowed from Richard Carlson which is so apt “You catch more flies with honey”.

In simple terms you get better results treating people with respect and politeness than you do from being aggressive, pushy and nasty. While most business owners accept the logic of this there is often a significant gap between intellectual understanding and an awareness of what happens in practice in their dealings with staff.

Its not that people set out to be particularly obnoxious it is more the case that they are just reacting how they have always reacted based on what they unconsciously believe will produce the results they are after. You can observe everday examples in business of leaders using intimidation to leverage the results that they want. While these leaders may achieve results in the short term sooner or later such behaviours will come back to bite them – call it Karma or simply just what goes around comes around!

There is a popular reality show on tv at the moment called “The Apprentice”. Not wanting to mince words it is in my opinion one of the worst possible shows on and a  show of few redeeming qualities. It shows people in business at their worst. It places value on competition rather than collaberation and is down right mean spirited. Yet people are compulsively driven to watch it. What a fantastic example of how not to run a business! Continue reading →

“The purpose of business is threefold: the fulfillment of society’s living needs and the creation of an environment in which happiness and self-development may floursh and art and beauty are encouraged. All else is an invasion of the ego into business endeavours.”

Michael Bernard Beckwith

It will come as little surprise to most people to know that we are a long way from fulfilling this idealised version of business. I suspect in NZ we waiver between levels one and two but most probably spend the majority of time in level one – fulfilling our basic living needs.

Some may say that we have come some way since the days when our lives were were soley focussed on competing for the basics of life and when those with the greatest power survived to fight another day. Have things really changed that much you may ask? Continue reading →

I have been witness throughout my legal career as an employment lawyer to many unpleasant work place incidents between employer and employee and employee and employee however even I was surprised to hear in recent media reports that New Zealand has one of the worst records in the developed world for work place bullying.

While published statistics from public records disclose an unsettling and concerning trend those records are probably the tip of the iceberg. Many workplace incidents never make it to public forums and are settled behind closed doors.

What does this say about our culture?

I believe that this situation is symptomatic of a more systemic problem in “God’s Own”. While NZ has a world -wide reputation for having some of the best scenery in the world and being a country of natrual “purity” this I believe is a superficial red-herring. Should you choose to look closer “beneath that thin veneer of civilisation ” a more accurate and disturbing picture begins to emerge.

For a small isolated country NZ seems to have a systemic problem with violence. Every day we hear that crimes of violence are on the increase and our prisons are full to over flowing. It is difficult to reconcile this trend with our international reputation for taking a leading stand against the proliferation of nuclear weapons!

Why? Why? Why? Continue reading →

“Challenging circumstances are the calling card of the angel of change. They serve to loosen our octopus grip on limited thinking; they shift our everyday reference points, creating a gap through which Reality may enter our awareness. When we resist change, the angel of change seems negative and may even cause us to have nightmares. When we surrender and give our consent to the changes that we are guided to make, the angel of change appears as benevolent, kind, caring energy. Then instead of nightmares, we have dreams of well-being and inner initiations.”

Michael Bernard Beckwith

“Trouble” is an interesting word in that it conveys a certain meaning which is always negative. In general use it can mean a problem, a difficulty, a worry or cause of concern, something distressful, something annoying or disturbing………….you get the drift?

The problem with trouble (excuse the oxymoron) is that it is a generic word for something quite subjective. One person’s trouble is another’s blessing! We aniticpate trouble or we recall troubling events. The reason for this is our personality driven need to control our external environment so that it fits squarely within our own limited conscious frame of reference. We are most comfortable with what is consciously familiar even if the familiar causes us pain or limits us. Continue reading →

I had started coaching a seemingly successful business owner who had been in business for over 16 years.

As I began working with him I noticed that over a period of time he continued to make excuses for not doing assignments and for cancelling his coaching sessions. You guessed it – he was far too busy!! Go figure!

He complained that he was stressed, tired and the business was going backwards. Continue reading →

“The One Minute Millionaire” by Mark Victor Hansen and Robert G Allen

An extremely informative read which will appeal to right and left brainers alike. Each page is presented in two distinct formats – a systematic and logical instructional format and a story based format. The former will appeal to the logicians and the latter to the more intuitively driven of us.

Highly recommended.