What Are You Tolerating?

This is part of an ongoing series of articles on business and life coaching by Hutt Valley lawyer and coach, John Gray. You can find his first book, “Who’s Following This Conversation?” on amazon.com.


We are supposed to be respectful of others’ beliefs, cultural imperatives and psychology but does that mean we have to tolerate the bad behaviour that these can lead to?

We are all free (well as free as anyone can be within societal and environmental constraints) to live our lives as fully expressed and unique human beings. However, there does come a point when who we are being and what we are doing can impact negatively on other people and we cannot expect others to continue to tolerate our crap.

Our crap can vary from low level negative behaviours to extreme and dangerous behaviours and everything in between. We would most probably all agree that it is not okay for other people to hurt others physically or emotionally in an attempt to make themselves feel better about their lives or to gain power over others. When lives are taken in the name of religious, political or cultural rhetoric those acting violently towards others cannot vindicate themselves through the deluded belief that the ends justifies the means or that vengeance is required to somehow balance the scales of justice and fairness or to otherwise push a secular agenda. Such beliefs arise from small mindedness and the fear that it engenders.

We are in the world today facing ever increasing levels of stupidity from irresponsible, narcissistic and childish dictators, dysfunctional corporations and individuals motivated by power and greed. On the one hand we have nations threatening nuclear war as a negotiating stance, fundamentalist extremists blowing up innocent people to prove a point and individuals going on killing sprees in schools. There are families at war with each other fighting over money and other stupid stuff. There are individuals unable to forgive and move on with their lives.

We are at the mercy of our own small immature EGO driven lives.

There are no excuses. Time is short and we need to do a whole lot of growing up really quickly if we are going to save our planet, survive and fulfil our true potential.

So what can you and I do about all of this?

We can stop tolerating this stuff and fix our mental focus on what we can do in our own lives to engender peace, harmony, respect, love, compassion and to reflect the perfection of our Divine inheritance. We don’t need to trample over others in order to live fulfilling and rich lives because we embody that already- we have simply forgotten who we are – WE ARE DIVINE SPIRITUAL BEINGS.

We are uniquely individuated notes on the vast manuscript of the Divinely inspired and created ONESONG (universe). When we remember this we no longer need to seek to empower ourselves through external stimulus and can find all that we need within ourselves. Let us sing our unique song in peace and harmony.